all my life, i grew up with this concept.

“delusions of grandeur”.

it is a form of delusion that is widely common in the spectrum, through several disorders, though people typically only think of it in relation to particular ones such as schizophrenia.

it’s interesting. in children, this idea of perceiving the self as significant, presidents, deities, princes and princesses and even fairies, they are simply fairy tales. imaginary thoughts in imaginary worlds. harmless childhood play.

and yet, if it is perceived in adults, it’s delusional. madness, craziness that the world would be better without. leading ourselves and others into incredible danger, because we are not ‘in touch with reality’.

we are seen as worthless in our minds’ attempts to be worthwhile in this world.

the thing is, our minds know who we are. when the world is against us, these thoughts are the most truthful parts of ourselves that we have.

i feel, our thoughts are not trying to tell us that we are at the top of the world.

they are trying to tell us that we matter. in a world where we are hated for who we are, for aspects of ourselves that we have no control over, we matter. we are significant.

illness does not make us empty husks. everything that we feel, everything that we experience, it is a part of ourselves. it is who we are. there is nothing wrong with that.

maybe, just maybe, we are not delusional.

we are just trying to be ourselves, in this world that tries to force us into carbon copies. to assimilate us.

our minds and hearts know who we are.

i just wish more of the world would be willing to listen to them.

5:43 pm  •  25 May 2012  •  31 notes

moist-owlet:

As I gave her my answer, she solidified a rock-solid fact about me; I’m really fucking awesomely smart.

Schizophrenia: Schizophrenia is degenerative and it really acts as a disease in that it’s aggressive and causally destroys your cognition, over time. Plus, psychosis are internalized, meaning it comes from within and needs no triggers. This means that, usually, the environment sees a schizophrenic psychosis coming well before the schizophrenic does, if they even do at all. On top of that, schizophrenia is generally a hereditary disease, but can be triggered by sudden psychologically shocking events.

Schizotypy: Schizotypy is not degenerative at all, and is far less aggressive than schizophrenia. It’s more of a constant, in that it doesn’t get better or worse in time - when left alone - but it just is. The psychosis of schizotypal individual are externalized, meaning that it needs a trigger for anything to happen, and this can come in a variety of things, but most commonly stress - emotional, mental, physical - or over-stimulation of senses - too much noise, too many bright lights, overwhelming scents, being touched too much, or even sudden/constant heat or cold. This, in turn, means that the schizotypal individual is much sooner aware of the red flags of an oncoming psychosis than the environment is - usually one can deflect a psychosis by taking a break, “happy place”, things like that. Schizotypy is not necessarily hereditary, but is something a person develops alongside their personality - usually in (gradual) response to unfriendly or even downright hostile environmental situations.

How do I know this? I just do. For some reason. Introverted Intuition meets Extraverted Thinking. Cheers.

1:24 am  •  28 April 2012  •  11 notes

static-nonsense:

psychopathy is not a psychotic disorder.

psychopathy is not a psychotic disorder.

psychopathy is not a psychotic disorder.

psychopathy is not a psychotic disorder.

PSYCHOPATHY IS NOT A FUCKING PSYCHOTIC DISORDER.

seriously, cut that shit out.

1:22 am  •  28 April 2012  •  12 notes

avec-tout-mon-amour asked: But you know what, I'm schizoaffective AND - this is in the face of all the haters - I got 50/50 in Literature on the GAT! So there fuckers! Some may call me psycho bitch but at least I'll go somewhere in life if I want to!

10:59 am  •  23 March 2012  •  1 note

i am back, at least for the time being.

still having a lot of trouble thinking, but hopefully this will improve with the coming of warmer weather.

so yeah. um. i’ll think of something? promise.

-SN

5:31 pm  •  19 February 2012

so uh, between now and the last time i posted on this tumblog, fyeahschizotypy has gained about anywhere from 11 to 15 new followers.

so, hi? XD

yeah i haven’t abandoned this project, in case anyone is wondering. after all, the effects of schizotypy don’t exactly go away.

i’m thinking later this week i’m going to try to post something regarding video games. i know that probably sounds odd, but there’s a strongly connected reason for it i promise!

i’ll get it out here eventually. just forgive these poor achy arthritic fingers in the meanwhile.

6:53 pm  •  26 November 2011  •  2 notes

as the chill of winter nears, my energy and ability to cope with both life and my disabilities wanes. as one way have noticed, posts are few and far between this period. i retreat almost entirely into my coping methods until the stress on my body and mind lessens.

so, i won’t have much energy to fight ableism and psychobigotry in the world, let alone on the internet, my replacement of the inaccessible outside world.

if there is someone who would be willing to help me moderate fyeahschizotypy or send submissions for posting, i will be more than grateful for your help during these hard times. i will still be signed in to check messages and submissions, so i won’t completely disappear. i don’t want this tumblog to die, not yet, not when so many of us need it. i am also available through IMs and email, which can be exchanged in private messages.

i am eternally grateful for y’all’s support. i hope to connect with y’all again soon.

5:03 pm  •  27 October 2011  •  6 notes

one of the things that i fear the most

is not the harm of the world, beating down on me as they try to shove me into their little peg holes

not the tentacles coming out of the walls, trying to swallow up anyone in their path

not the giant eyeball spiders that roam the buildings, staring at you, always watching

but the ink that builds up within me, continuously melting every aspect of my being into this darkness, even organs and blood

it bides its time, waiting, always waiting

until you shatter and it boils over, releasing itself onto the world, onto your your body, onto your loved ones

as stress builds up, as illness takes its toll in all forms, it slowly builds up… waiting just at the back of your throat, reminding you of its presence, reminding you that you could lose control of it at any moment…

any moment.

even none.

6:26 pm  •  17 October 2011  •  10 notes

static-nonsense:

findsomeonelikeyou:

Is that wrong? I just want to sit there with him again, and hold his hand, and listen to him tell me that he’s going to help me get better. 

no. i miss mine too sometimes. esp my blue butterfly. it always made me feel safe, almost tranquil, in a world with so much hate. a lot of people come to miss their hallucinations… i mean, when they’ve been a part of our lives for so long, a part of our world, our experiences, it would feel like a piece of you is missing if they’re not around, ya? you’re ‘better’ by society’s standards, but you still feel… empty. hollow.

4:52 pm  •  17 October 2011  •  3 notes

getridofthestigma:

“Schizophrenia is a chronic, severe, and disabling brain disorder that has affected people throughout history. About 1 percent of Americans have this illness.¹

People with the disorder may hear voices other people don’t hear. They may believe other people are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts, or plotting to harm them. This can terrify people with the illness and make them withdrawn or extremely agitated.

People with schizophrenia may not make sense when they talk. They may sit for hours without moving or talking. Sometimes people with schizophrenia seem perfectly fine until they talk about what they are really thinking.

Families and society are affected by schizophrenia too. Many people with schizophrenia have difficulty holding a job or caring for themselves, so they rely on others for help.

Treatment helps relieve many symptoms of schizophrenia, but most people who have the disorder cope with symptoms throughout their lives. However, many people with schizophrenia can lead rewarding and meaningful lives in their communities. Researchers are developing more effective medications and using new research tools to understand the causes of schizophrenia. In the years to come, this work may help prevent and better treat the illness.”

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/schizophrenia/what-is-schizophrenia.shtml

4:45 pm  •  17 October 2011  •  3 notes